Random Thoughts

To the person we will never have

There’s so much I’d like to write about but I want to get this thought off my head. So, let me begin by asking everyone “Have you ever felt that it was the right person and right love but in the wrong time?” or “Have you ever fallen infatuated or even in love with someone you can never be with?” Well, we all have that unfortunate chapter in our life, if not yet, soon. What’s ironic, is that it felt like it was going to last but reality check, it was less than three months or for others less than a month! Nonetheless, it felt like years…

I think everyone will have or have had their fair share of this “gone-to-soon” love story but hey, that’s the reason why it’s a story. It does not normally last, so you put it into writing (tweeting about it, poetry writing, short phrases, etc) and for others, they talk about it for quite some time till they get over it. *You may correct me on this.*

Here it goes:

Like all typical stories, you have been seeing this person almost every day but you have never met eye-to-eye and you have never appreciated their existence. They seemed normal like the others. Although, in the slightest change, you notice that “Hey, I would like to get to know you…more.”

So, you start exchanging messages, from the simple “Hey” to “Good morning! Have a great day!” Notice the difference? You’re placing more emotions to the message. That’s step one. I’ll have to admit I have a thing for men who is a good conversationalist. Smart guys are attractive!

*So dear gentlemen, TAKE THIS AS A FRIENDLY REMINDER! Read books. There are short ones that you can start on! WOMEN ARE DEEP. They don’t act like it all the time but when you get to know them based on how they behave, think and speak; well, you will be taken off guard. Aside from books, you can also try to engage yourself in listening to music. Classical music is soothing but you can also try those from the early years (50s-90s). The people back then have good sense of music.*

Next, you level up from the messages to constantly talking on the phone every now and then. Oh gosh… Yes, you are trapped! I guess, by this time you are slowly “crushing” on the person. There’s a different kind of connection when you hear the person’s voice especially if it’s you are caught into a deep conversation. TOUCH MOVE, DUDE.  T O U C H   M O V E. There’s no taking back of whatever you just said. Unlike when you’re texting, you can think of a good comeback for a reply.

So what’s comes after these two stages? Well, you “crave” for that person. By craving, I mean, you will want to see them more often and you’ll start to lose track of time because you’re so deep into the conversations. Sometimes you are going to end up just listening to them because you feel that somehow they are into you. Though, NEVER EXPECT OR ASSUME. There were probably times when you know you said the weirdest or even the stupidest thing ever because it just felt right.

And I bet that in hopes of trying to understand that person, you have checked the readings of the ZODIAC SIGNS and the HOROSCOPE. *No worries. I’ve done this before. It was mostly accurate (50/50), believe me or maybe I was just over thinking.*

But this kind of story happens when we are inclined to  a specific type of personality and character of a person- someone who is uptight, serious, and mysterious. These are the kind of people we would love to get to know more and as it happens, you won’t notice that you are slowly falling into their very own traps. They have walls so high that you will be in endless fall. You don’t know when you’re about to hit rock bottom. You might even wonder if these kind of people let you in. Well, not always. They have been so used to their way of life and in getting the things they always want that nobody actually reaches as far as stage three. They tend to push people away but once they let you in. Sigh. If you give it some thought, they tend to be the most vulnerable of all.

It seems like they can be the perfect person to fall in love and be in a relationship with, but not all the time. Some will be more inclined in choosing career over relationships. They will choose to establish themselves in society then, love can follow after. We cannot blame them; it’s just human instinct- to survive. They will eventually leave us broken.

The process might turn out as an endless mind game but humans have the tendency to be inclined to the notion of excitement, thrill and fun, so we take the bait. Another, we see the auras of people who deserves to be loved so we try to get to know them and “save” them. I read this somewhere online, “Love those who least deserve it”. There can be other rationalizations of the situation but bottom line, we are only going to end up lost and hurting ourselves. It was an investment and a challenge we enjoyed. I don’t know when that right time will be. It may occur on the next lifetime or maybe it will never happen.

It just happens that we meet people like them who are actually people we admire and take inspiration from. They are game-changers in our life. We will never let go of them in thought and memory but we will eventually move on from them. It’s a bittersweet story that ended too soon.


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